Beginning Again
by Oblivionokay
Summary: Don't walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don't walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend. Albert Camus


_So I posted this on tumblr but thought I'd posted it on here too._

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 _Don't walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don't walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend._

 _ **Albert Camus**_

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Drowning the sounds out around her, the dimly lit entrance to the hospital standing before her. As the night fell around her, the realisation that one of her best friends, her old crush was actually leaving was a heavy weight to bare upon her shoulders. She stepped out of the warmth, the bitterness of the evening hitting her. A group had gathered around Dixie.

Rita couldn't quite grasp the concept of goodbyes. In her time there had been so many. So many meaningless 'I'll see you soons', 'stay in touches' and all they left was yet another void in her being. With everyone came yet more heart ache, yet more tears and one less face to count on in an hour of need.

She stepped forward again, catching the eye of Dixie. She watched as her friend worked her way out of the group, heading straight for Rita. Her arms flew around her pulling her close. Rita's eyes stung with tears, she'd promised herself this wouldn't happen but in the mix of it all she couldn't help but let her emotions get the better of her.

Connie stood in the back ground, looking on at the scene. In a way she had always been jealous of Rita's friendship with Dixie. She always wanted to be close the nurse, at first shed putt it down to professional admiration. But it hadn't taken her long to realise it was so much more. Their constant clashes, the raised voices and the over shoulder glances. But nothing seemed to shift. They now had adopted a civil manner while in each other's company. The polite hellos, the thank you's and then the walking on by. But this was never enough for Connie she longed for more, she the brush of skin, the scent of her perfume, the taste of her lips. But these to Connie were her wildest dreams, her midnight fantasies. It would never come of anything.

Dixie's arms were still wrapped around Rita, their faces buried in each other shoulders. This really was goodbye. Rita's vision narrowed, the people before becoming a blur, the sounds channeling into a dull drone. The light faded ever more and the feelings of sadness and loss took over her. Dixie pull away. Her senses resorted themselves.

"Chin up kiddo, don't think I'll ever forget about you! That's what Facebook for right?"

"Right" Rita sniffed from behind the snot and tears.

"Catch you soon guys. Don't have too much fun without me."

Dixie turned on her heels, flashing one more smile in Rita's direction. Rita watched as she took Jess's hand, the two of them along with Olivia climbed into the car.

Connie stood still, the sinking feeling as she saw the one person she truly cared about in such a state. She was obviously completely heartbroken. She picked up her foot placing her heel down on the Tarmac first then rolling her foot as her toe touches the ground. One pace at a time. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. The butterflies swirling around her stomach. This was her one shot at putting the past to bed. Her one shot at making everything better between Rita and herself. Her one shot at happiness. Connie inhaled deeply. She hadn't realised she'd been holding her breath.

Rita picked her head up, the clink of Connie's infamous louboutin's grew closer to her. She looked to her left and there before her stood the woman herself.

They stood side by side. As they watched the car drive off, Connie glanced at Rita. The tear eyes glistening in the moonlight. The bittersweet goodbye that had seen her day out, had taken its toll on Rita. Connie reached out for Rita's hand, her warm fingers interlaced with Rita's icy cold ones. She gently squeezed Rita's hand. Rita lifted her head, her eyes where met by a look of love and lust. Rita moved closer to Connie, the chill of the air butting at her skin. Connie placed her arm around Rita's shoulders. A light kiss was placed on the top of her head. This was it from now on.

No more halfhearted see you soons. No more please stay in touches. This was real life.

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Thank you for reading, reviews are always welcomed xx


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